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This isn’t a bad quality but what we forget is that somebody’s availability and their ability to commit isn’t about ‘nice qualities’.
It’s about whether they are capable of mutual love, care, trust and respect as well as whether they can come up with the goods for a mutually fulfilling relationship – the landmarks such as consistency, balance, and intimacy.
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Yet the suicide rate for teenage boys is more than three times higher than it is for girls Described by neighbours as the ‘silent type’, Allen loved screamo music (the aggressive offshoot of emo rock) and had retreated into a virtual world of violent computer games and rambling angry posts on social media.
Last year, 22-year-old Elliot Rodger, whose father is British film-maker Peter Rodger, killed six people in California before committing suicide – like Allen, Rodger was an angry, isolated young man who had struggled through his teenage years and withdrawn from real life to live almost entirely online.
Perhaps it’s easier to sympathise with a girl struggling to get her ten A-stars while still being all things to all people.
But a boy whose problems are less ‘visible’, who retreats into a virtual world and stops bothering about school?
If you’re going out with a woman, just swap he for she.
Please also note that posts have been gender neutral since autumn 2010.** In my book Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl, I share some of the most common signs and behaviours that indicate that you’re involved with a Mr Unavailable – an emotionally – and often spiritually and physically – unavailable man.
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**Please note – Since I first started Baggage Reclaim, while it’s still read mainly by women, I have a lot of male readers too, as well as readers in all types of relationship.
So should you worry about your uncommunicative son who spends hours alone on his computer in his bedroom?
Anna Moore looks at the danger signs and how parents can help Parents are primed to spot the danger signs in their daughters – perfectionist tendencies, eating disorders, self-harming.
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