One of the most common remarks I hear from male online daters is, “I have no idea what to say.” This remark is often accompanied by the sound of defeat and ultimate frustration, as most of these men have spent months trying to write messages that get the attention of women online, often to no avail.

The truth is writing a message that captures the attention of a woman isn’t nearly as difficult as one might think.

The first message you send to a woman online will make or break your chances with her.

Thus making an introduction easier and far less intimidating.

If rejection happens it’s not as personal or awkward (usually).

Judging by messaging over all those years, the broad writing culture is indeed changing, and the change is driven by phones.

Apple opened their app store in mid-2008, and Ok Cupid, like every major service, quickly launched an app. Users began typing on keyboards smaller than their palm, and message length has dropped by over two-thirds The average message is now just over 100 characters — Twitter-sized, in fact.

Users on Ok Cupid exchange about 4 million messages a day.

Of course, they do so with a special purpose — dating — but the interface provides no specific prompt and enforces no limit on what or how much anyone types.

Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s not because I’m ashamed of what I’ve got.

I just figured you’d seen enough of those pictures from the other guys emailing you. Email: There’s no point in opening any other emails.

Subject Line: Sorry, no pictures of my junk included…

Email: This may come as a surprise to you, but I’m going to make you wait to see the Family Jewels.

Here’s the deal with the messaging thing, a lot of people have their own theories on how it works, what works best, etc. Others try pick-up-artist “negging.” Some send ridiculously long messages about their background and their overall philosophy and what they’re currently doing with their lives.