Single dad, 40, getting back into dating after divorce.

It all seems really scary, I'm not looking for ONS but want to meet and try to get a relationship going with a single mum.

However, my real point is this: I joined a popular online internet dating match-up service and have found that my status as "Separated" gets me very little or no reponses.

Why should the online dating services hold us "separateds" hostage to our legal status when we are just as lonely as singles?

I get so many emails asking me about whether to date someone who is separated, recently divorced, or even fresh out of a breakup that I wanted to tackle this tricky subject.

We’re often scared (even if nothing has actually happened yet with a particular person) that we may be letting our last chance or even best chance saloon slip away.

Same goes for someone who’s not over their divorce and has beliefs that affect their ability to be committed.

I personally know people who have gotten together while one party was separated, and in one case the wife refused to sign so they had to wait for it to lapse and got married as soon as it did a few years later, and in the other instances where it worked out, there was no faffing about with the divorce, Future Faking etc.

We may be imagining all sorts of problems that may or may not exist or we’re rationalising our own boundaries, values, and even prior experiences of being in one of these situations (so knowing that we may struggle with the emotional consequences) and are thinking along the lines of, ‘Well…

I’m of a certain age so I need to prepare myself for turning a blind eye to any code amber / red actions and indications because people in this age group tend to be recently broken up / separated / divorced‘. There’s no easy answer to the question of what the ‘right time’ is for dating a separated or recently divorced person.

Has it been painful or disappointing, or are there still women out there who believe in love? I know beacuse I was a single dad who was in a relatonship for 6 years and after that it took me about 2 years to finally really say I love you to someone special and yet it is still not perfect.

I just keep reading on this board that so many are only here short term, well I don't repeatedly want relationships with some lady who's going to shag me for a few months and then disappear off. I believe in LOVE too but also believe it doesn't solve the daily life problems.

Haven't been out for years and honestly have been putting it off.